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THE THEORY OF VARIABILITY

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It rained in the night. A little stream of droplets now drips from the toe end of every sock I left on the line.

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THE THEORY OF VARIABILITY: PART ONE

Ming says I won't understand what's going on - until I understand The Theory of Variability.

(He's shocked by the way children in primary education are not taught astro-physics and philosophy.)

LESSON ONE

Martian maps are drawn on elasticated paper. This, says Ming, is because distance is variable.

Humans think our house is two-hundred yards from the corner of the street - but this is an average.

For the street is constantly pulsating (vibrating at the very least). Occasionally, parts of it spring (yo-yo like) away from themselves and return before we have noticed.

(The movement can be detected on Martian time-lapse cameras which take several thousand images a second.)

* * * * *

(I'm wondering whether I've been blaming too much on slugs. Maybe small plants simply fall off the garden as it pings around the universe?)

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