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BAY TREES - AND BLACKMAIL - (EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE!)
I’ve been sitting in bed, watching rain.Watching the bay tree too.Upright. Still. Doing nothing.(Either of us.)Me and the Bay Tree.(The Bay Tree and me.)Inactivity should be boring. It isn’t. I’m...
View ArticleTHE PLANNING STAGE
.I’ve been imagining this:-Manchester.A bookshop.Me.“If, once more, you charge £5,000 for botanical books I’ve not bought,”(I’m saying this in a tough, gangsterish voice)“I’ll go to the police.”The...
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NOTES ON THE KITCHEN TABLE
Air - chillSun - stingsEvery leaf; every vein in every leaf - distinct.It will rain.For Tomorrow
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PROBABALY THE MOST BORING PLANT IN THE WORLD - THE RAMBLING RECTOR - THE...
I’ve had to bring her home - the bookshop lady; poor thing.Ming doesn’t seem surprised. I think he knew it would happen.But if I hadn’t gone to Manchester, I wouldn’t have understood.And I wouldn’t...
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IF YOU LOOK IN THE SIDEBAR - YOU'LL SEE MY 'AWARD'!
There was no garden, when I moved here. Just an empty space and some shrunken squares of turf - ending in a jagged line where the builder got bored and went away.It was hot; that summer. I positioned...
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THE COLLAPSIBLE ROOF
Shade.I can't take sun.My head hurts. My skin prickles. I go weak at the knees.So, having made a shadow with the shed, I set about making a roof with a vine.(Eight years ago.)Madeleine d'Angevine.Oh!I...
View ArticleTHE WORLD'S IN A NAME
.Indian sweets are (very) sweet.Colourful too.And the ones which aren't colourful look interesting - which is almost as good.The jalebi had gone soggy by the time I served them for pudding - on...
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AN OUTBREAK OF ADVERBS
LAST MONDAYI'm no good as a gangster.I swaggered into that Manchester bookshop - tough talk ready - looked at the bookseller - - - and stalled.In fearful silence I approached the counter, unscrewed the...
View ArticleTHE THEORY OF VARIABILITY
.It rained in the night. A little stream of droplets now drips from the toe end of every sock I left on the line. * * * * *THE THEORY OF VARIABILITY: PART ONEMing says I won't understand what's going...
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SCALE ON THE BAY - AND VICTORIA WAVING
.This is the shape of my Bay Tree. (A Golden Bay.)(I was given it (in a pot) as a housewarming present fifteen years ago. The bay was nine inches tall and I lived in a flat.)(Lucky I moved!)And it's so...
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MORE ABOUT WAVING
In the Second World War, the Ministry of Information (or something along those lines) made a series of films to help GIs understand the British.(The English in particular.)I remember a lingering shot...
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MIDDAY APPROACHES - START WAVING!
.Ming's Mum will be watching from Mars at Midday.* * * * *BUT -When is Midday?(Australia alone has several.)We used to have quite a few ourselves - but railway timetablers couldn't cope - which is why...
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VEGETABLES AND FLOWER POTS
.Perhaps Ming is right. Slugs prefer the next allotment along. His Jerusalem Artichokes are high and healthy. His chard is glossy and green. Soon the broad beans will be ready. (Yuch!)The onions are...
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MY MUM HAS HAD ANOTHER FIT SO I'M DOING HER POST FOR HER - BY WORTHING
THIS IS WHERE MUM PUTS HER POTS OF PLANTS UNTIL THEY ARE READY TO BE PUT IN THE GROUNDTHIS IS OUR DUSTBIN. WE HAVE TO FIGHT OFF THE RAMBLING RECTOR WHENEVER WE WANT TO PUT ANYTHING IN IT. THERE IS A...
View ArticleROSES AFTER A FIT
.I DON’T LIKE ROSESI’m in bed.The window is open.Twenty feet from my nose - the topmost branches of a Rambling Rector.I hold my breathe; not believing every next intake will bring more scent.But it...
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'CUTTING OFF THE DEAD BITS'
‘Cutting off the dead bits’?What ‘dead bits’?There aren’t any ‘dead bits’ in the garden. Not this time of year!But it wasn’t too bad.Worthing had put down saucers of lettuce for slugs.And Didcott had...
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MARJORIE HAS BEEN CAPTURED BY PLUTONIANS
Marjorie has been captured by Plutonians. They came from under the compost heap. They came up through an inspection cover in the garden. They came out from behind the Castor Oil plant (which turns out...
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BUTTERCUPS AND WARHEADS
I wish I could shrug off sexism.Ming and the children have crisps in their lunch boxes.Their decision - my worry.* * * * * Ming's chopped down the green manure on the allotment. He'll dig it in after...
View ArticleMESSAGE FROM MRS RUSTBRIDGER
.THIS IS MRS RUSTBRIDGER.I AM CONFISCATING THIS LAPTOP.I FOUND ESTHER IN HER GARDEN, THIS MORNING, SITTING ON A BENCH NEXT TO A PILE OF DROOPY VINE SNIPPINGS AND UNABLE TO GET BACK TO THE HOUSE.I COULD...
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BEES, BOOKS AND ASTRONOMY
This morning, I ate breakfast in the garden.No snails.Just spider gossamer swinging across the path.I watered early and did some potting-on.* * * * *Later, I took coffee into the garden.And an...
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STANDING TO LOOK AT GRASS
Mrs Smith makes awful tea; weak. And the milk she put in it this morning was right on edge.I saw her watching me, over the rim of her cup, daring me to drink it. I watched her back, over the rim of...
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MURDER IN THE MORNING
My garden is not designed; it emerges. I thought it was emerging quite well - what with the Flowering Nettlesand flowering Sage;the bright green Mint- and Hollyhocks growing tall (with buds on);and the...
View ArticleAH!
.The Globe Artichoke was a plant too far.I've killed her.(Mrs Smith.)Esther_ _ _ _ _For earlier posts, click here, or on the blue barrow at the top of the sidebar.For Yesterday...
View ArticleLAST WEEK, I MARRIED A MARTIAN
Last week, I married a Martian.He's quite handsome really - though he thought it was funny when he examined the globe on my mantle-piece because the north pole was at the top.It's an ornamental globe...
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